10 Psychology Tricks You Can Use To Influence People

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10 Psychology Tricks You Can Use To Influence People

Before we get started, it’s important to note that none of these methods fall under what we would term the dark arts of influencing people. Anything that might be harmful to someone in any way, especially to their self esteem, is not included here. These are ways to win friends and influence people using psychology without being a jerk or making someone feel bad.

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Legend has it that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win over a man who didn’t like him. He asked the man to lend him a rare book and when the book was received he thanked him graciously. As a result, this the man who had never wanted to speak to him before, became good friends with Franklin. To quote Franklin: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged.”

Scientists decided to test this theory and found that those who were asked by the researcher for a personal favor rated the researcher much more favorably than the other groups did. It may seem counter-intuitive, but the theory is pretty sound believe it or not! If someone does a favor for you, they are likely to rationalize that you must have been worth doing the favor for, and decide that therefore they must like you.

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This trick is sometimes known as the door in the face approach. You start by throwing a really ridiculous request at someone—a request they will most likely reject. You then come back shortly thereafter and ask for something much less ridiculous—the thing you actually wanted in the first place. This trick may also sound counter-intuitive, but the idea behind it is that the person will feel bad for refusing your first request, even though it was unreasonable, so when you ask for something reasonable they will feel obliged to help out this time.

Scientists tested this principle and found that it worked extremely well as long as the same person asked for both the bigger and smaller favor, because the person feels obliged to help you the second time and not anyone else.

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Dale Carnegie, the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People , believed that using someone’s name was incredibly important. He said that a person’s name is the sweetest sound in any language for that person. A name is the core part of our identity, and so hearing it validates our existence, which makes us much more inclined to feel positively about the person who validated us.

But using a title, or form of address can also have strong effects, according to the as if principle. The idea is that if you act like a certain type of person, you will become that person, it’s a bit like a self fulfilling prophecy. To use this to influence others, you can refer to them as what you want them to be, so they will start thinking of themselves this way. This can be as simple as calling an acquaintance you want to be closer to “friend,” or “mate” whenever you see them, or referring to someone you want to work for as “boss.” But be warned: this can come off as very corny.

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This one may seem obvious at first, but there are some important caveats to it. For starters it’s important to note that if the flattery is not seen as sincere, it’s going to do more harm than good. But researchers have studied the motivations behind peoples reaction’s to flattery, and found some very important things.

To put it simply, they found that people tend to look for cognitive balance, trying to always keep their thoughts and feelings organized in a similar way. So if you flatter someone who has high self esteem, and it is seen as sincere, they will like you more, as you are validating how they feel about themselves. However, if you flatter someone who has low self esteem, there is a chance it could backfire and cause them to like you less, because it interferes with how they perceive themselves. That, of course, does not mean you should demean a person of low self-esteem!

Blog Flattery

Mirroring is also known as mimicry, and is something that some people do naturally. People with this skill are considered to be chameleons; they try to blend into their environment by copying other people’s behaviors, mannerisms and even speech patterns. However, this skill can also be used consciously, and is a great way to make you more likable.

How To Become The Most Influential Person At Work

Now is a good time to let you in on a secret many management gurus don’t want you to know — it is easy to influence and persuade people. The difficult part is finding your way through the flash and dazzle of influence coaching. And then home in on the simple techniques that succeed. The ones that actually make you influential and get you noticed in the workplace.

The true way to grow your influence and become an influential person lies in your ability to employ the most basic of techniques that go undetected. Soon you will learn the best way to influence anyone and convince them to your point of view.

How To Influence People At Work

Avoid These Common Mistakes When Influencing People

Pay close attention to what this is telling us about how we should NOT go about influencing people. You should not try to convince them by reasoning. And don’t let others know they are being influenced by you.

If you try to convince someone by directly reasoning with them through their conscious mind — as most other schools of workplace influence teach — you will typically encounter a roadblock. This is the single biggest factor that results in unsuccessful influencing. It mostly triggers mental argumentation and resistance in others, rather than compliance.

Young woman dressed in a white shirt shouting into a megaphone to illustrate that forcing your views on others is the wrong way to influence someone

Community Reviews

This book had a profound effect on me, however, of the negative variety. It did give me pointers on how to actually break out of my shell and “win friends” but in the long term, it did way more harm than good. Not the book per se, but my choice to follow the advice given there. The book basically tells you to be agreeable to everybody, find something to honestly like about them and compliment them on it, talk about their interests only and, practically, act like a people pleaser all the time.

It This book had a profound effect on me, however, of the negative variety. It did give me pointers on how to actually break out of my shell and “win friends” but in the long term, it did way more harm than good. Not the book per se, but my choice to follow the advice given there. The book basically tells you to be agreeable to everybody, find something to honestly like about them and compliment them on it, talk about their interests only and, practically, act like a people pleaser all the time.

It might sound like a harmless, or even attractive idea in theory, but choosing to apply it in your every day life can lead to dangerous results. Case in point: after being a smiley happy person with loads of friends for about a year, the unpleasant realization began to creep in, that by being so agreeable to everybody else, I rarely ever got my way. I also sustained friendships with people who were self-centered, so talking about their interests was all we got to do together, which drained me of my energy. The worst thing still, is that by trying to find something to like about every person, I completely disregarded their glaring faults. It didn’t matter that those people did have redeeming qualities – they weren’t redeeming enough! I ended up with a bunch of friends I didn’t really want and, because I was so preoccupied with “winning” those friendships I missed out on the chance to form relationships with good people.

I suppose, for somebody who is a better judge of character, the principles outlined in this book *could* be of some value. But that’s really just me trying to find something positive (using the “principles”) in a book that I am still trying to UNlearn.

If you want to win friends, you have to do it the hard way, by being yourself and risking rejection (and daring to do some rejection of your own, as well). And if you want to influence people the only fair way to do it is through honesty. All the rest is manipulation and pretending. Do not read this book, you’ll only learn how to manipulate yourself & others. Do not read it out of fear of rejection & low self-esteem, there are better ways to gain some courage in approaching people. This will harm you in the long run.

This book is probably really handy when you’re trying to befriend kindergarteners, not as much adults. It’s also aimed at salespeople and not regular humans. Dale, saying people’s names often when you’re talking to them, Dale, doesn’t make you popular, Dale, it makes you sound like a patronizing creep.

One – it seemed pretty much timeless. Not much anachronism here, because language still serves the same purposes as ever, and people still want basically the same things they’ve always wanted. I liked the examples taken from Abe Lincoln, etc.

Two – the techniques described in the book aren’t duplicitous. We all try to do what the title says, just like everyone else, whether we’re admitting it to ourselves Three things about this book surprised me and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would.

One – it seemed pretty much timeless. Not much anachronism here, because language still serves the same purposes as ever, and people still want basically the same things they’ve always wanted. I liked the examples taken from Abe Lincoln, etc.

Two – the techniques described in the book aren’t duplicitous. We all try to do what the title says, just like everyone else, whether we’re admitting it to ourselves or not. Readers are repeatedly encouraged to develop genuine interest in others, be honest and ethical, and obey the golden rule.

Three – I enjoyed it (read twice back to back) and it felt easy and natural to apply some of the ideas in my life. Shortly after reading this book, I was a little bit better at communicating and a little bit happier about my interactions with others in general. . more

I bought this one in 2004 from an Amsterdam bookstore and it has been laying on my bookshelves since then. It’s an icon of self help books and that was a problem because I kind of hate that genre. I decided to get rid of this one as well but not without trying, at least, to see if there is anything of value in it. Well, I was surprised to read some sensible advice and I decided to actually read more. charming in their archaic ways.

So, the book wasn’t total garbage. As I said above, it had some I bought this one in 2004 from an Amsterdam bookstore and it has been laying on my bookshelves since then. It’s an icon of self help books and that was a problem because I kind of hate that genre. I decided to get rid of this one as well but not without trying, at least, to see if there is anything of value in it. Well, I was surprised to read some sensible advice and I decided to actually read more. charming in their archaic ways.

Resource:

https://listverse.com/2013/02/03/10-psychology-tricks-you-can-use-to-influence-people/
https://master-influencer.com/how-to-influence-people-at-work-be-most-influential-person-workplace/
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4865.How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People